What struck me most about this week’s reading was Dr. Goddard’s comment, “God has graciously given each of us an early warning system. When we are feeling irked, annoyed, or irritated with our spouses, we have our backs toward heaven.”
Elder Joe J. Christensen’s “Grapefruit Syndrome” is a real life story right out of my own life. I once started going over a mental list of things I needed to address with my long-suffering husband when the thought struck me: He’s never criticized me. Ever. Truly! And I fall short in myriad ways. With seven young children, I already have a very full plate, but then I volunteer as room parent, am on the school board, take classes online, have demanding callings, so on and so forth. There are loads of ways in which I drop the ball in my homemaking duties and yet he never calls me out on it. He never lectures me about the laundry piled on the couch or the dirty dishes in the sink.
I am a difficult person to live with. When I get overwhelmed or overstimulated, it’s my defense mechanism to become easily annoyed with others and to even lash out at times. “Any time we feel irritated with our spouses, that irritation is not an invitation to call our spouses to repentance but an invitation to call ourselves to repent. We are irritated because of our own lack of faith and humility.” I would add that there are other reasons we are irritated with ourselves, but it’s key to me that the true irritation is with myself.
It’s strong imagery for me to consider turning away from my husband is also turning my back to heaven. It is choosing to be less Christlike, choosing to be less refined. Refinement ran through my head a lot while reading our selections this week and I was pleased to read that Dr. Goddard comments that we can refine ourselves to bless others around us, especially those with whom we have made sacred covenants.
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