I really loved reading about The Magic Six Hours in Dr. Gottman’s “What Now?” afterword. It was just a nice and succinct way to wrap everything up and to give quick, practical tips for improving a marriage. It’s important and easy enough that I actually went out in search of a graphic or visual to wrap it all up! I couldn’t find one, but am now determined to make one!
Partings: Before you say goodbye in the morning, make sure you learn one thing about what is happening in your spouse’s life that day.
Reunions: Hug and kiss your spouse in a kiss that lasts at least six seconds. Also have stress-reducing conversation at the end of each weekday and make it last at least 20 minutes.
Admiration and appreciation: Communicate genuine affection and appreciation each day and genuinely express your love for them.
Affection: Be physically affectionate when together and embrace before going to bed. Think of the goodnight kiss as a way to show forgiveness and tenderness to your partner.
Weekly date: Stay connected in this relaxing and romantic way. Ask each other questions and try to build that relationship of trust.
State of the union meeting: Spend one hour a week talking about how your relationship went this week only. This is a sacred space! Talk about what went right, then express five appreciations. Discuss any issues you had this week only. Be sure to apply positive habits like gentle start-up and non-defensive listening. End the session by asking each other what you can do to make the other person feel loved in the coming week.
By breaking the six hours up into such easily digestible chunks, Gottman really sets us up for success. I deal well with lists and check marks, so it’s a nice reminder of how I can work daily and weekly to improve my marriage.
By breaking the six hours up into such easily digestible chunks, Gottman really sets us up for success. I deal well with lists and check marks, so it’s a nice reminder of how I can work daily and weekly to improve my marriage.
No comments:
Post a Comment